Jatuh

Katakan sahaja begini:

Awak sedang berjalan. Awak jatuh. Tidak usahlah bilang tiba-tiba sebab awak semacam perasan ada lubang, cuma awak tidak cukup hati-hati.

Awak tidak pernah jatuh lubang. Lubang itu dalam pula. Sudahlah dalam, becak lagi. Marah betul awak. Pakaian comot habis, badan sakit-sakit. Awak bercangkung dalam lubang, dalam air bertakung.

Tak mahulah bangun! Awak menjerit. Pada siapa, jangan tanya. Awak pun tidak pasti.

Lubang itu dalam, tapi orang boleh nampak awak. Sepuluh, dua puluh orang (saya cuma mahu cakap 'ramai'. Jika awak fikir itu belum cukup ramai, gantikan sahaja dengan sejuta dua juta') lalu, dia perasan awak di dalam lubang. Mereka tanya sama ada awak mahukan pertolongan. Awak bilang tidak. Setahu awak, awak kuat. Yang kuat tidak perlukan bantuan.

Orang juga boleh tarik awak naik atas. Yang lain lalu, hulurkan tangan. Susah-payah mahu angkat awak ke atas. Ya lah, lubang itu dalam.

Pendek cerita, kini awak sudah naik balik. Awak ucap terima kasih pada yang menolong dan teruskan perjalanan.

Tup tup tup (itu maknanya 'tiba-tiba'lah. Kan bosan kalau setiap cerita guna 'dan tiba-tiba..', hilang suspen) awak jatuh lagi.

Ai, macam mana boleh jatuh lagi. Dalam cerita ada satu sahaja konflik, kemudian cerita terus tamat. Tapi awak tahu, ini bukan cerita. Ini hidup. Cuma awak pernah jatuh dan awak tahu, duduk dalam lubang tidak seronok. Lebih seronok berjalan-jalan. Kali ini jatuh sahaja, awak terus berdiri. Masih dalam lubang, awak tidak diam. Awak yang meminta pertolongan orang.

Oh, tidak mudah. Awak suka dengar awak ini kuat, awak ini istimewa. Minta tolong orang tidak senang. Tapi awak minta juga.Kalau benarlah yang memberi itu mulia dan yang menerima itu hina, ini masa untuk memuliakan orang dan merasa diri hina.

Sebab awak ini bangga diri sangat.

Tamat.


p/s: Kalau awak tidak faham, tulis sahaja komen ini, "Sendiri tulis, sendiri baca, sendiri faham, tulis diarilah. " Saya mesti terasa. Cubalah.

And life goes on...

We hate it so much when people do bad to us. Too much most of the time, that we tend to forget that we are not that good actually.

You and I, do mistakes. Me in particular, are neither a saint nor as good as some views I am.

I do lot of mistakes. A lot that sometimes they kill my heart and make me crying. You wont see my tears now because I m too selfish. But believe me, when you do mistakes, you just feel the guilt. And the feeling is like a complete darkness that tries to wrap you slowly.

it is always amazed me how Muhammad p.b.u.h able to use a simple simile to conclude many principal issues in life. Talking about sins is one of his very good ones.

Muhammad p.b.u.h says that a sin is like a small dot on your heart. His simile is just like what I feel, that most of time, I take the simile literally. That there is a small black dot on my heart if the sin is small and I believe it will be bigger dot if the sin is serious.

This dots kill my heart. They make me ignorant. They cover my heart from the light of wisdom and knowledge. They cover my heart from the rational of mind and the honesty of soul.

I still like to talk about the accident that happened to me. Among the very first feelings that come into my heart is anger and despair. I feel that this guy or girl, is a very bad human being. I rate them among worst who had alive.

It took me time to realize the real wisdom. You cannot say that I forgive the sin, because what is suitable for any sin is just a curse. But you can say that I am ready to forgive the sinner, because I am no good than him either.

In any situation, I believe that being sinful is not a choice. Because there are always option. And God will never be cruel. He will always provide room to us. Maslahah, Dharurah, you just name it. That is why I say that you cannot justify a sin.

However, human tends to make wrong choice. And God does admit this. Indeed He says that we are most of the times forgetful. Of who we are and where we are going, that the choice taken seems to be off the right path.

We learn great lesson from God. He always ready to forgive. He is ready to forgive because He knows that human makes wrong choices. I am ready to forgive, because I realize, I made wrong choices.

Empathy. It does not come handy.

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Minal A'idin wal Faizin Selamat Hari Raya

10 jari membentuk bekas
Menadah tangan memohon maaf

11 Oktober 2007
Kuala Terengganu